Welcome to the merry month of May, in which we celebrate Mother’s Day! In my work, the busiest times of the year are when my office phone rings non-stop around Christmas and Mother’s Day.
Mother’s Day is a hallmark “holiday” that can and does bring up every possible emotion – from intense love to intense anger and everything in between, depending on who you are and what your situation is. Of course if your mother has passed, then even more emotions may rise to the surface. And as I have noticed, losing a mother for many can be painful even twenty-years later.
I recently did a session with three sisters who had just lost their mom. They all lived together. To say the session was intense would be a gross understatement. These three sisters shared the task of caring for their mother who had Alzheimer’s disease. Each of them did their best. One acted a nurse, another handled all the finances, another took care of the household chores. In order to care for their mom, the three sisters needed to take out a reverse mortgage so their mom could stay in the house. These three sisters also gave every penny they had to take care of their mother because they promised their dad that they would never put Mom in a nursing home.
During the session, while connecting to their mom, I listened to the sisters’ describing their emotions and thoughts of devastation and loss. They also wondered whether they had done enough. Now, I can tell you of so many . . . many . . . sessions I’ve experienced where devotion to a mother was the predominant theme, but the devotion of these three sisters clearly placed them in the Top Ten!
The sisters felt such a powerful devotion because their mother had provided them with a wonderful life, and they felt that caring for her when she was ill during the last phase of her life, was the least they could do in return.
A twist on this story involved the fact that there was a fourth sister, who had bluntly stated that she had dealt with Dad, so she would not deal with Mom. The fourth sister also made it very clear that she had her own family (two of the other sisters also had children), a “rich” life, and that she wasn’t going to put her life on hold to help take care of Mom.
The three sisters just couldn’t understand the fourth sister’s not caring. They kept asking me how the fourth sister could do this, noting that it was clear that she had the financial (but maybe not emotional) means to at least pitch-in, in some way.
It was not my role as a medium to understand and judge all that may have transpired among these four sisters. But clearly, there were three out of four sisters who bonded together in every way they could, in honor of and respect for their mother.
This situation was unique because usually the mom sessions involve one sibling holding much of the family together, and acting a guiding force. This session is also an example of what I had indicated previously, that there is a litany of emotions that can arise when a mother dies, within yourself and family members. One thing is for sure, the three sisters will have a bond together for the rest of their lives, given their common devotion and sacrifices made for their mom.
I just couldn’t resist sharing this story during the Month of Mother’s Day. Hope you enjoyed it.
On another note, I don’t want any of the “guys” to feel left out of my Mother’s Day tribute, because I’ve met many devoted sons who have honored their mom by taking care of her during the toughest of times.
Oh, and before I forget, especially during the month of Mother’s Day, let us never fail to thank Mother Earth, the caregiver to us all!
It is my hope that, whatever your personal journey is with your mother, or mother figure who cared for you during your life, send her Love, flowers, notes, and/or whatever she would prefer, and whatever else strikes you, along with a heartfelt Thanks for all your mom provided you! If your mom is on the Other Side, thank her for all she did, and wish her a Happy Mother’s Day – she will hear you, I promise.
So, with that, let’s bring on Spring, Spring, Spring, to celebrate all life!