Healing Through Relationships

Healing Through Relationships

Welcome all to the month when Spring begins. The Spring Equinox is Friday March 20th
, three days after St. Patrick’s Day! Now I know some of you are saying, “Yeah, right! Spring,” given the huge mounds of snow and ice still prevalent. Even where it’s supposed to be warm, it’s cold. I heard even the birds this winter were a bit freaking out! But I assure you, those tiny buds are on the verge of pushing up through the ground! Spring is around the corner.

In life, things move in their own time, for their own rhyme and reason. Most of us humans, of course, want everything now, or yesterday. We forget the most important part of why things often don’t happen so fast, that being . . . we may miss the most important part of the journey, or the reason why this or that is happening. Everything happens for a reason, tho the reason is not always apparent.

While some folks seem to sail through life, often I’ll encounter people who have had many losses over a short period of time. They ask, “Why did this happen to me?” Or, “Why don’t I have good luck?” To be honest, I don’t have all the answers for the why’s of anyone’s life. But I do know that there is a reason for everything. Whatever that reason may be, you know deep inside. That is, your soul has the answer. So often, yes, discovering the reason does require looking deep.

I’ve often said that most of our soul learning happens in relationships. If for some reason you don’t learn with the Earth family you were born into, you will likely learn your lessons with a partner, and perhaps your partner’s family. Or perhaps, you will create a “family” through your friends or mutual interests or causes.

Look around you and notice the people in your life. Do they have strong family connections (which by the way is a concept that extends to cousins, aunts, grandparents, etc.). Or are they very involved in their partner’s family, parents, or in-laws? If you were raised with strong ties to a cousin, he or she can often act a sibling. If they have children of their own, the connection continues with them as your nieces and nephews.

Nowadays, with families living in so many different places, it requires much more work to stay physically connected. But I have to tell you that I meet many folks who make sure they personally connect with family and extended family every year or every other year to keep that relationship going. Also, iPhone and computer photos and videos can help bridge the gap. Folks know the importance of family, and they want that priority to be there for their children as well. This can be especially important with the “only child,” with cousins often becoming sibling substitutes.

Through direct and indirect family relationships, we can know or at least begin to understand what our soul program is all about. It’s so easy to look at another’s seemingly happy life and say, “Why not me?” But, you need only look a bit deeper to see that what is on the outside may not correlate to what is on the inside, and what your program might be. It’s not really about fancy houses or cars or diamonds, or the chenille dresses. I know of someone who had all that and she lost not one but two sons . . . one to suicide!

One of my favorite interviews is when Barbara Walters was questioning Gloria Vanderbilt. Barbara asked Gloria, and I quote, “Why you? Why did you lose a son to suicide?” Gloria’s answer, “Why not? Money never has nor will it ever exempt one from loss.”

In short, not everything is at it appears to be. Just as when we look at all the snow still piled up, we may not see the green coming up from below, but I assure you, it happens every Spring, which is just a couple of weeks away (officially). It’s just like magic! How can one not be amazed at Nature in her presence and beauty? What was once barren gives birth to flowers, leaves, bees a buzzing, and the animals (like us) adding a skip to their step.

So be patient. In life and in season, the change will come. Maybe not how you dreamed it or exactly how you wanted it to happen, but changes will arrive. Meanwhile, count your blessings – that favorite dish on the table, or just sitting down beside the one you love. Sometimes the simplest things are the greatest gifts that can be given, or received.

So come on Spring Equinox. Bring it on!

This Spring – besides being occupied by my seedlings – I am delighted to return to some of my favorite places: Lafayette, LA, Tucson, AZ and my hard core Northeast Connecticut homes.

Looking forward to it all.

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